winter news - winter blues

greetings from donna, where words have been short and days have been long of late.

mother came to visit from new york city and it was true meeting of two worlds - my old life my new, but more than that, it was two parts of me coming together. two halves figuring out if and how they can make a whole and whether or not the addition of the pair will come out to less than or more than 100%.

as such when she left it felt as little splintered, schizophrenic, as if perhaps part of the whole was taken, or maybe it was the extra 25% percent, i know for sure that 95% remains, and perhaps now, a tiny bit more.

i miss new york and still consider coming back. i miss having all my friends around so i like to think about making plans for a year from now. But damn if in a year from now i won't finally feel like i've made friends here and wonder if maybe i shouldn't have just stayed. asi es la vida a veces.

the warm winter has helped. its like a brief reprieve from a life sentence of snow. but as i've recounted to many of you, its as cold inside in this little country house of mine as it is outside. so in some ways i've been colder than before.

so i've been a little sad. it turns out february was still hard, even with sunshine, even with the most wonderful valentine. its been nine months in texas, 6 on the job, and 3 as a real live lawyer. since i measure all of life in units of 3 months, this is an important moment to stop and measure.