party time

I've thrown a lot of parties in my lifetime. My parents had the whole church over almost every new years and i picked up the tradition as early as middle school with my buddies. IN fact, this year - we just started the emails - it might actually be possible that my 8th grade crew can meet up all together all in Indy for the start of the New Year. What a gift! And New Years is my most religiously observed holiday...

Anyways, I've never thrown a party quite like the one I'm throwing today. I'm holding it in a courtroom, which comes equipped with complimentary judge, court reporter, and hopefully friendly bailiffs. I've invited my honored guest, the Client (CL as we like to refer to them) and two police officers, one friend, and one District Attorney whom we invited to bring a special bag of tricks known as the file of an open criminal investigation of another special guest, Opponent (OPP).

Usually I'm bad at parties, I'm all about form over substance. I make sure everyone has drinks and is comfortably located and then I just extract myself to this peripheral level of observation and tinkering, here and there. Today, the form has been set up. Papers filed. Seats are pre-determined. And my job is take all of our guests to the heart of the matter-the substance. The truth, the point. And what I have to do as master of ceremonies is bring out enough of the bad to protect my client without bringing out so much bad it hurts her. That's tough.

The last job is to not stutter like a damn fool in front of my judge, as I'm appearing for the first time in my life. But I've never gone through a party stuttering. I usually end up dancing on chair and singing triumphantly to Madonna. Maybe something equivalent to that in courtroom terms can happen today.

Today is a hearing on divorce and custody with family violence. Things are pretty clear on our side but damn if you don't ever really know whats going to happen in court. All I can do is look tough, and collected, and prepared, and hope that I can intimidate into a settlement or easily guide the court to our logical conclusions. Ha. Vamos a ver. The judge is a nice one - one I've bantered about with about quilt making and such. Perhaps she will greet us without too much antagonism - which is all I ask for.

THIS IS NOT, however, my first party involving LAW enforcement. But that's not blog material. Remember, your blogs can and will be used against you in a court of law. This time the Officers are invited, and have to appear all because I signed a little scrap of paper to tell them to, and even after being ordered around by little me, they will show and be as friendly and helpful as possible. It's quite amazing, the concept, to me. But this will happen. And we will see how this party ends up. No one will go to jail, no one will die, in fact we can likely get just what we want. Also part of what I want is to not get nervous and some bowel trouble or something equally debilitating just when I need to be standing there, orchestrating the entertainment.

Life is moving along here - much more to say about my adventures here, but that will come soon. Gotta go play lawyer now. Wish me some luck.