big day

last night i dropped an envelope in a mailbox with the same weight and gravity pulling it inwards as a similar envelope that slipped from my fingers three and a half years ago. Three and a half years ago I was in washington d.c. listening to a speaker from the Heritage foundation explain something, it doesn't really matter what he was saying but the tone with which he was saying it, which to my ears sounded like "Why wouldn't you go to law school, do you think you can fight me and my particularly tricky feats of oppression just as young dreamer? Do you really? C'mon. That's ridiculous--you're ridiculous if you don't do something here, because i'm here, and i'm doing."

I'm sure it sounded something like that, because-as often happens to me during painful speeches-i was propelled out of my chair, out of the basement meeting hall, and out into the bright sunshine of late afternoon. I walked quickly around the block and fished out of my bag an envelope that had been already waiting, carefully packed and sealed, just anticipating the decision, the commitment, that would vault it back up to NYC where I was visiting from.

It was my law school acceptance. I dropped it in the first box I saw and then turned west and walked straight over to the Supreme Court, only a few blocks away. I stood in front of it, altogether small and colorful and weak against the grand solid white weight of it. Equal Justice Under the Law, it proclaims. Well, I shrugged, equal justice for all would have been better, but, thats what we got I guess. Framed by a strong peaked roof, my eyes eased down the fat columns, and ended staring at the endless stairs leading down from there, or leading up inside. Regardless of the direction they suggested, I took them, walked around in side for a bit, still unsettled from Heritage Man's talk, and walked back out for the fresh air. Sat on the steps, stared out, and wondered what my future would now bring.

So last night, with the same curiosity, importance and excitement, I stopped at the post office late after work and dropped in my latest letter. Its my registration (plus check) to join the Texas State Bar as a lawyer. Tomorrow I will get sworn i before a judge and standing next to my friend Cindy from Indy with our parents on speaker phone. Never before have I entered such a committed relationship - especially one that I was always so sure I didn't want to enter. But what I'm committing to is to do it right for as long as i do it--for the state of texas, for our country, and most importantly to me, for our clients.

So by wednesday afternoon, I'll be a lawyer. Something I've considered doing for almost 9 years now. Its a long journey finally ended, but really just begun.